John-Paul Teti—he goes by J-P— is a computer science student at the University of Maryland, College Park. He’s interested in Ruby and machine learning and Swift and iOS and just about everything else in computer science—especially if it’s a buzzword. He uses a Mac, not a PC. He’s also a giant choir nerd. Recently, he signed Here are some of his projects:



Concerto is a web app for musicians and podcasters. Coming soon.


Lux is a choir based in Hyattsville, MD. J-P’s friend Robby directs the choir, which J-P is in. He also built the website.

The Trumple of Doom

A Safari and Chrome extension that changes every instance of the phrase “Trump campaign” to the phrase “Temple of Doom”. SAD!

Extra Cheese

A Safari and Chrome extension that changes every instance of the phrase “Supreme Leader” to the phrase “Supreme Pizza”.

The J. Allan Teti Foundation for Memes

This is J-P’s idiotic Tumblr account. Don't visit. It's dumb.

Contact information

J-P's Keybase account can be found here, and his GPG public key can be found here.

You can email J-P: You can also follow him on Twitter @jpteti. You can even call him or text him: 301-533-7780. That number also works with Signal, and you’re welcome to contact J-P that way too. If you add J-P on Facebook and he rejects your friend request, don’t be mad. It just means he hasn’t met you in person. But also, seriously, you’re mad because someone didn’t pretend to be your friend on a silly website? Maybe think about what led to you ending up here.